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024: Villainy

Two things merged in my head over the weekend. First, Gangs of New York. Martin Scorsese builds experiences; his are films which swallow you. While he is in fine form for Gangs of New York, it is too bad that the same couldn't be said for the script. With a little prejudicial editing, the film could have been salvaged from a hollow-eyed revenge tale hung on Leonardo DiCaprio's sulky single-expressioned take on the character of Amsterdam Vallon and turned into a ripe character study of the film's single engaging character. If this had been William Cutting's story instead of a sad bleating of "you killed my daddy," Scorsese could have savaged the audience, leaving us emotionally devastated by the death of William Cutting: the erstwhile villain.

[As an aside, for as much shit as Daniel Day-Lewis has taken along the way for how he prepares for his roles, I hope that his entire acceptance speech for the Oscar is just two fingers to everyone who took a shot at him. Unlike the rest of the cast, Day-Lewis disappeared on-screen. There was only Bill the Butcher and, for the three hour duration of the film, Bill was alive.]

The second thing: an infomercial drones in the background as I make breakfast Sunday morning. They're pushing the Miracle Blade III. "These blades never dull. They can cut sheet metal and still slice a tomato. Cutting your own bread has never been easier. Sixteen different blades all for only $39.95. Call in the next ten minutes and we'll throw in a free gift."

I wander out of the kitchen and watch for a second. The guy pushing the knives is a wearing a white chef's hat and looks like the most work he's ever done in the kitchen is to use a utility knife to separate out his dosage of amphetamines. He's got an obsequious co-host, a fawning sycophant whose entire existence is simply to act amazed and astonished when the Miracle Blade manages to slice cheese.

You know what would really sell knives? William Cutting. Put Bill the Butcher on that table-top, crouching over the fawning assistant who has been strapped down and had an apple shoved unkindly into his mouth. Watch Bill the Butcher with his wild steely eye shout at the camera, "Loin or shank, the Miracle Cleaver is the perfect instrument to carve up a good piece of meat. Bone or sinew, the Miracle Cleaver never loses its edge. You can carve up steak all day and never feel it in your arm. Look at how this separates the meat from the bone."

Yeah, the phones would never stop ringing. We love a good villain. They're Men of Action and Conviction. We get so little of that in reality these days. Too many weasels and back-biters. Too many Mr. Tweeds.

I miss Bill.

Posted by Teppo at January 14, 2003 08:21 AM

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