« 009: Soundtracks | Main | 011: Cake » November 15, 2002

010: Use a Knife

I wrote 700 words of shit today.

I'm not going to look at that section again. I'm just going to highlight the first fecal-stained letter, hit 'page down' twice, and make it all vanish. Actions contrary to the basic tenet of 'write till you die' month, but I can't just leave them there. These words smell bad and they aren't going to suddenly expectorate some olfactory effervescence.

This is the throes of week two: when you start second guessing every word. Actually, it is the weak moment of every day at the keyboard. Some days none of the words seem right, they all lie crooked and askew on the page as if arranged by blind amputees working with their tongues. They are your words, though. They came out of your head; they fell from your lips and fingers to the page. You gave birth to them. They are your responsibility: the hideous truth.

They will never grow up straight. Some of them will never achieve any sort of homely luminance. Some of them will never be a suitable framework on which you can hang a glittering idea, hiding their crooked limbs and tortured skeletons with the radiant majesty of your doctrine. Some of them will just be ugly.

Kill 'em quick. They'll only poison the rest of the page. Use a sharp knife and cut them out. Toss them out back and let the night animals have their fill.

Listening to King Crimson's Disciple tonight.

"Frame by frame (Suddenly)
Death by drowning (from within)
In your, in your analysis.

Step by step (Suddenly)
Doubt by numbers (from within)
In your, in your analysis."

Posted by Teppo at November 15, 2002 12:10 PM

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